As soon as the pictures started
to fill the empty white spaces, I felt the air becomes thinner and breathing
becomes totally difficult. I heard One Direction’s “History” and everything
just turns shapeless while I try to hold those memories on my hand.
Oh history; since when did I get
interested in a somewhat bleak subject in my early days. Today, it seems history
means everything to me and sometimes I think it’s all I’ve got.
I am not sure if it is just the
effect of entering adulthood where you parents are getting too old, where
friends are nowhere to be found, that old good days are fading inside your
brain, but this phase of my life is somehow too complex. It’s like you have
jumped the other side but your shoes got stuck from your take-off point.
Every day, I see images from my
childhood, my teenage life, school days and sometimes cool days at the
universities. Remembering is both an easy at the same time a dreadful task;
like a memory is being thrown to my face and the moment I started to cherish
it, all drifts apart instantaneously.
I know lingering in the past is not
the best thing to do especially if you are up to something big or great in the
future but for some unknown conditions I carried the past with me and I am
thinking how to make it work for me. As much as I wanted to look forward with
certainty, I find it hard and vague; even the present is somehow borrowed which
left me to go back to the great happy past. I don’t know. Most of the times,
nothing is making sense though I got the feeling this will lead into something
better and would probably make sense.
So, where should I begin
remembering?
